Maybe, from birth, was born within as a strong, brave, determined female, fighter for life. A character and traits who never give up any obstacles, trials and persecutions may encounter. Being alone in survival for life, it added much in mind and heart to be a strong woman.
Growing up in a poor family is a heartbreaking one. Poor but with many siblings. Education is so hard to be given equally among a number of seven or ten. Food had to divided among each including parents of course. Each with one small fried fish or cooked in vinegar with spices to have a gentle soup for rice.
Rice coffee, “kamote” a root crop, or bread for breakfast.
Not everybody has work. The father a mere regular hired carpenter, guard at night in a government department. The mother, cooked some food to sell, wash clothes for added income. The two eldest son has no job, the eldest daughter working in far city as household helper. The seventh youngest daughter and the sixth, at age eight years old ten, given task ironing clothes and washing for each person. An office workers where the father is employed.
At early age, eleven years old, given as household helper, taking care of a newly born bay. Just almost three months old. The fourth sister was with the youngest as house cleaner. That is to pay the amount owed by the family when the sixth daughter was operated due to tumor on ovary.
After one year, return, rest and finish grade six. After graduation, sent again to take care of an old woman in Metro Manila. The old woman living with eldest doctor with ten children. After massaging, that evil old woman letting help in household chores. From helping in washing, ironing clothes and cleaning the house. One year in captivity of hard labor for a tender age.
After finishing high school at least, dare not anyone to stop dream to finish a college course at least.
From learning how to saw dresses, tailoring, tried to learned it as a source of income. Along with accepting work as laundry. A two year course in Secretarial is only a short term to achieve. At least a two year college background will do for a job hunting. Vocational course in telegraphy helped a lot. Landed in job as telex operator in a popular city and was assigned in a prestige product company then.
Three years is rewarding and had brought, joy and memories to ponder. Learned to have that look of a woman. Able to invest in bank some amount.
Reaching age of twenty nine, for a woman without anyone right man courting and have right mind to settle with is disgusting. Many says, so hard to have babies reaching thirty five.
A brutal decision is to be made. Longing to have a child to be with, someone to extend love and be love too. Growing old without a child is a big failure for women. Not minding of a husband, bearing a child within womb is rewarding. No love at all in heart, same as the man, that’s the truth feelings. Suicide decision it is. Can’t produce a baby without mate.
Have not felt and seen any loving care to the child nor on the mother. Support was just taken from taking overtime payment. Couldn’t reaction much, its own fault.
Forced to leave stable job when the grandmother of the child refuses to find another girl to take care of the baby. Either the grandmother don’t want to take care. The grandfather has illness too, though love so much his grandson, a favorite of him, couldn’t do anything.
Finding work to support the needs is quite hard, but never give up. Buy and sell of different products wasn’t enough.
After a year of absence in office work, re-applied again and was lucky to pass exam. Supposed to be assigned nearby area where I work previously, as telex operator in a government bank. Expected to report for work the next Monday and start again as office worker.
Unexpectedly, arriving home, seeing the father crying in full tears, my heart was so broken. It is he who’s always with and took care when rush to hospital for baby delivery. He loved so much his grandson. He asked if could take care of him for a year. In return he will give his monthly pension amounting only to 500 pesos. a small amount with a chiid not sufficient for needs. a year only you will take care of me, he said. Quite astonished in his statement, rather bothered it not and forget.
The small amount for the child was stopped for the reason the man has retired from work. He’s much older than the mother of the child.
Loved so much the father, he is so loving and dedicated father, loved the baby so much and the mother. Every day, took a bathe both of them, do all the household work. At night a massage is given to both of them every night it is. Before going asleep, whole body so tired.
It was January when statement of the father to take care of him, and exactly end of December he was rushed at the hospital and died there. As if all had crumbled in. He stood as a father to his grandson, loved and cared the boy so much.
The rest, after his death a more crucifying tearful life. No place to go, no stable work, no one to console and breast to lean on. Grandmother health is so poor for being alcoholic for many years. Was petitioned by youngest brother and brought her with him. Have not seen then until she died even the picture, nothing at all.
Stayed in the province with a sister but maltreated, so good friends God had given and offered free room to stay. Selling fruits and cooked food for the children in school and at early morning, before sun rises. Sack of fruits are bought in nearby markets, though so heavy.
It caused hard to the chest and vomited blood for three days. A small vein has rapture. No medicines to support nor given by the government in our barangay. Only prayers of us three. Had two sons, eldest is ten years older than the youngest. Still breast feeding the baby. After three days, spitting of blood stopped abruptly. Thanks God.
It occurred the second time around due to the kind of job am heaving. The two was infected too. Didn’t waste time in asking medicines for the three, continues administering it until completely healed.
Selling hotcakes, fish ball self recipe and fruits in season are big help and income to support their studies. A bike with sidecar was given by a Samaritan and help much in transporting. A 5 kilometer back and forth every day is traveled. An extra income as Avon, Sarah Lee and Triumph dealer was added.
Able to let the eldest graduated as IT in computer. He helped us by taking a line in subdivision as tricycle driver. At early as 4 am drives a tricycle in a subdivision,the idle time was spend in school. Returning at 4 till 9pm driving.
I collected the new 1peso, 5 pesos and ten pesos coins and place it on can of soft drinks. Able to invest just right to rent a small room for three of us.
The youngest able to finish college too, a two year course only in Computer Science. The two graduated were their clothes were just borrowed to look good at least.
Now, just a memories to cherish. Free to breathe in remembering those years in life. Both are working now, at least elevated from so many sacrifices and bitterness.
So many times insulted and called as pimp for not having a legal father to the child. Driven out from sisters house, but adopted by friends many times and was loved and cared by them.
Two times almost killed in the hands of a sister. The second time was almost in the hands of her eldest son. The two son was supposed to be strike with a knife and hard object. God saved us.
But God did not allowed any anger or bitter feelings against them in our heart. Complete forgiveness. Even to other sisters and brothers who had treated us badly.
Why? God had forgiven sins had done, what had forgiven can’t be compared to what He had forgiven. He called us to a true preacher, true teachings and true church.
Changing us fully within, soul, heart, mind, attitudes, character. With God helps, next year, the dream house hoping to be built. A three stories in a lot God helped us to purchase.
Almost to abort the eldest then too, but conscience and God intervention, He had given much courage to face insulting words. He helped us that every food being intake is not ask from but hardly work for it. Three of us worked together as one to achieve our dream.
Just a Big Faith in God Almighty, holding so firm in Him alone, did not leave us for a single moment of our life.
Had been brave enough, courageous to face alone responsibilities of being a single Mom, by trying hard to be righteous.
Had asked to have two children, He gave, prayed to help me growing them up and finish an education, He had answered me.
Complete leaning to God alone, anyone can survive, fearing Him alone and be prayerful till end.