I grow up in a family where relationships are not that good. The youngest among eight of the siblings, I live as always apart among them. Four girls we are, but the three eldest are so close to each. I was tag as the ugliest with curly hair, the always go together and felt that being an outcast. The three are all males.
Learned to be alone even when I go to elementary school, I find it so hard in mingling with classmates. Besides that we are poor and can’t cope with others who are better well off. Till high school days shyness behavior develop much in me. I have few friends, but at least they are really true friends. I don’t have male friends for I don’t know how to deal on them. Besides, am choosy in dealing with people. Experienced being bullied by insulting words is painful.
College days are better for I slowly develop myself specially when I able to land a good job as telex operator in busy business city.
Growing up with a sad experience within the family itself, in school, traitor people, insulted, desire to be like and be fit to a group is so hard.
So, like others who had preferred to be alone, not because we don’t like them, but the fear to be rejected by some.. We don’t know how to be around them, how to start a good conversation, be appreciated.
Childhood experienced is a big contributory factor of our behavior. Varied degrees of traumas each had undergone, really is a big impact to such person. Shy people are normally uncomfortable with meeting strangers, opposite sex, reluctant to join or speak among group and aware of their own personality.
It knows no age or gender, it may be in large number of females or males, children or adult. There are some who need some ignition first before joining a conversation, while others remain till reaching old age.
Above fit me, for I can have a good conversation for a long period as long as that person and me are compatible.
I believe, shyness is not a disease but rather a behavioral problem only. It can be conquered or be corrected.
Eagerness to enjoy life, seeing others how happy they are in gatherings with endless topics to discuss.
I become so observant, studied human behavior, how they deal with others, proper interaction in a gatherings, how to join in a conversation and many more.
A refreshing, pleasant face with a smile ready to give that smile being met, greeting is a good tool. Be smart but not over smart others, contribute a good remark of topics being talk about. Or if it’s regarding news, must have knowledge about to be able to deal with them.
Education is another one to be added on the list, personality development, grooming and have that special talent others don’t have.
Affiliate self with a group with lots of activities and let shine any potential have, for it will help a lot to increase self- confidence.
To be in a choral group is a great help and enjoyable for one will learn a lot in physical, mental and emotional activities.
Develop that confidence in you,, have in mind that whatever shortcoming we have, others have that too. We’re not alone, we can free our self from it, just a big trust to self and most of all to God.
Avoid comparing self to others, avoid being self –conscious but rather focus on things that might improve self.
Have enough strength in facing people, develop that self- confidence.
Each of us has a unique personality, talent to show, so use it. To be rejected is common experience by all, remain calm, in pose and don’t take it so personal. Keep moving on, for success in dealing is obtain by lot of experiences encountered. Learn from failure for it teaches many lesson .Don’t forget to remain by yourself. Be what you are. There’s no need to act different of who we are really just to please others.
We need company of others, that is a big reality in life. No man can enjoy life with interacting with others. A reality I come to realize as I reach womanhood of my life. When I able to gain friends, happiness within my heart was filled with so much joy. We need to love others company, a give and take kind behavior and traits.
My job in an office company is a big treasure of memories I kept reminiscing. How to be loved by people around you, greeting and admiring everything about you, no amount of words can explain.
When people acknowledge the talent that is in us, and the contributing factors it also we share to them, mutual happiness.
Of course, not all will like us, there are always people who will dislike us. Envy, jealous, being edged by us, our work and personality overshadowed theirs, so expect the bad feelings from them. But don’t focus on negative people, but maintain that talent, personality and even improve more.
Braveness, determination, courage and being open minded in understanding others is develop so deep as we continue in fighting to reach success of our life. Overcome fear, and let it not win over you.
Am so choosy in dealing with people. I learned to read people’s characters and traits. I avoid people who have bad characters. Praying is the best solution there. I pray hard for that person who wanted to friend me to show the true beings of that person. Thank God, He always reveal.
In the eyes, in face, hearsay from trusted people God reveal the true identity. I set myself apart from those people, but without hating them, just avoiding. For God said, bad people ruins good characters of of good people, the influence of always being with them.
Being out in the shadow of timid or shyness is best, but just not overdo it. Everything must be moderate. Don’t throw that shyness away. Be shy to God to do evil things, be shy to be impolite, to change the good traits in you, to wear mask but rather be truthful in dealing with people.