I never had a happy marriage, nor had someone loved me truly. A marriage contract signed not in front of mayor officiating the marriage. All done in quickie trick, married only in papers, not bind by love.
Never had live in one roof, support for the child is out of his mind, even love for the child is purely out. I’d never consider it a marriage, just to let people know legally married in their sight.
Though greatly in deep sorry for what have decided and done, what can I do is to just face the consequences of my faults.

Yes, the very purpose of that relationship is barely for me to have a child. So impossible to get pregnant without sex of course, it’s the natural process.

But having a relationship without love at all and only based on flesh, the outcome is so painful. A stupid decision I made and a lifetime trauma which I had suffered even for the child itself.
Being abandoned of his responsibility is so hard, that shame experienced being ridiculed by relatives and neighbors, I could hardly take to go on.
But I have to be brave enough and face the responsibility of motherhood for my children sake. A blessing and disguise they say, a more blessings for me and my two sons though being without a father to them.
I filled their hearts and needs with love and all efforts to give their needs from being a baby to adulthood. I’d able to provide them from food, shelter, education, clothing and even bonding moments as occasion calls and permits.

It’s so hard to be with someone without any mutual feeling of love, same as for a man too. Relationships base merely on lusts of flesh turns out sour and a sin. I’d ask forgiven about it and so sorry for I didn’t wait for right time.
Now, I realized, friendship is the best start of good relationships, for it enables both to know freely the very inner character of each. Slowly develop love is the best, for it assures both sides whether what they feel is right or not. They have open mind in discussing things about what the other feels about. Any untoward character is being adjusted by both or maybe by other party for the sake of love. Learning to accept whatever shortcoming one or both sides have just for their love comes to realization.

Time adjustments is necessary too, for any changes of time may brought, they have an ample time to mature enough. Parenthood, stable job, physical and emotional readiness and others are just some facts to talk about.
Couples that last till their life ends, are those partners who had themselves based on love. Mature in mind and responsibilities they will face as they decided to get married.
Love based not on beautiful faces and body figures same as for men, or because of financial status or power. Magic of love works wonder to some.
Age to some isn’t a hindrance though the man is twenty years younger to the woman, and same as for man’s side.
Constant talk and togetherness, bonding moments, that constant sex of course, both are God fearing couple is a great binding ropes to couple.
Though not given a chance to be lucky, in spite of it, am happy seeing happy couples who had stayed faithful to each other till they get old.
Love that is bind by God is the best.


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